Thursday, 3 May 2012

Happy Birthday To Me - Not!

No, not to her – hers has been and gone. To me! I’m twelve today. I knew you’d be surprised. One look at my sylph-like frame, my soft flowing locks and you’d be fooled into thinking I was half my age. Oh all right, I admit it, I was only two in that picture up the top, but the rest were taken today!

Actually I may be exaggerating a tad here with sylph-like. Stretching the truth just a teensy bit.

We were out for a walk on Tuesday and I was doing my best, chasing the tennis ball, bringing it back, sploshing through puddles, as you do, when I heard her say something about a barrel. My ears pricked up – well I can’t prick them up, but I can flap them. A barrel of custard perhaps? Or a barrel of chocolate? Show me the way.

I heard words such as “tank”, “rotund” and then I heard the word every dog dreads the most.


Who could she be talking about? I looked round. Besides me, there wasn’t a soul in sight. I thought she might be talking about a group of fat seagulls gathered on the rugby pitch, but no such luck.

As for the flowing locks – they’re going to be chopped off. They think that they’ve gone woolly and might be adding to my portly – portly! – appearance.

She thinks she might have been spoiling me of late. I’ve yet to see any evidence of spoiling. Sharing. Yes. But sharing isn’t spoiling. I’d share my dinner with her. Well no, actually I wouldn’t, but that’s beside the point.

Anyway, how’s that for a rotten birthday treat. A diet. And possibly more exercise. What?

This is me out exercising today! You don't get a lolling tongue like that without putting a bit of effort in and between you and me I have never seen her with her tongue hanging out and believe you me if anyone needs to be getting more exercise it's her!

Apparently – this is according to her – I have got lazy. Me! She’s been taking me out in the car to some fields that are only slightly under water instead of the very under water ones in walking distance and now when we go out, I always head for the car. Who wouldn’t? I don’t see her in a hurry to walk anywhere.

I did have a nice birthday surprise today. One of my special little people was sent home from school feeling poorly, so I had three of my little people here with me! Yay! Not yay that he was feeling poorly, but yay I had someone else to cuddle.

So watch this space folks. She’ll have me togged up in lycra sitting astride an exercise bike whilst gnawing on an apple core before you can say “Who hid the biscuit tin?”

Food parcels at this difficult time would be more than welcome. I’ll eat anything. Anything at all. And lots of it! Please! But not a word to Her Indoors – she wouldn’t understand (or she might get there first and eat it all).


  1. A diet? Surely there must be some mistake? Or if there isn't perhaps you can persuade her it needn't start until after your lovely birthday tea?

  2. Have a very happy birthday. What gorgeous pictures.
    I bet you won't have to start the diet today. x

  3. Happy birthday - and grgeous photos Teresa! X

  4. *gorgeous* obviously! :-)

  5. Happy birthday! And Geoffey ( my daughter's dog) who is also on a diet ate one of her shoes last week ( yes. Ate. Not just chewed) and says to tell you it was quite tasty and why don't you try one of Hers? Food and revenge, all in one go ( says Geoffrey).

  6. You're right, it's a terrible mistake, Patsy - but I did con a corner of garlic bread at teatime :-) x

    Thank you, Joanna - I'm working hard on not starting the diet till tomorrow x

    Thank you, Mandy x

    Good for Geoffrey, Frances! Hm, some of her shoes have teeth marks already, don't know why. I ate a leaflet this afternoon and chewed on a book - I'll show her :-) x

    That's me, Kath :-) x

  7. A diet!? On your birthday?! She's gotta' be kiddin' right? I mean that's a 'phone call to the RSPCA if you ask me. Shame I can't ring up and report this - paws make it difficult to punch in the numbers I'm afraid! If I want to get my way I bat my brownies, roll over, lick her hand (she likes that) and give my paw. Works everytime - try it - you never know.

    Well I mean, a dog's gotta' do what a dog's gotta' do haven't they? Chew sticks wait for no canine.

    Bob (the dog!) xxx

  8. To the tune of Woofly Woofday:
    Doggy Birthday to You
    "Diet" makes us sad too
    Forget you even heard it
    She might forget it too!

    Secret extras will be magicked to underneath the third bush on the left of the ditch at the end of the path that's near the big tree.

    Woofs and Wags
    Tim 'n' Ted and we hope we look as young and as handsome as you when we reach 84.

  9. Hasn't anybody told her indoors that "diet" is a swear word in dog language? Hope you had a happy birthday Indy!x

  10. Happy Belated Birthday, Indy. How dare that lazy Her Indoors try to impose the 'di**' word on you? And on your birthday, too! Also, you're not alone posting a decade old pic of yourself on your blog you know. I believe a lot of humans, especially writers like wot Her Indoors is, do it.

    One tip, Indy - if you want to post an up-to-date pic of your handsome self, make sure you've got your best side to camera and have a paw seemingly casually placed under your chin. (It holds any excess flesh out of sight.)

    Oh, and look upwards; it lifts your face and makes your eyes seem to sparkle. Happy birthday, mate. xx

  11. Look how well I'm doing with a pic taken 27 years ago! :-)

  12. Harvey sends his sympathies. He says that diets and birthdays don't go together. In fact, he thinks the whole concept of diets is bad, bad, bad! (And he's not too keen on grooming either.)

  13. Let's not say that 'D' word - you're still looking gorgeous!

  14. Thanks for the support, Bob x

    Thanks Tim 'n' Ted - where would I be without friends like you. I loved the song and I'll be off to the third bush forthwith :-) x

    Thank you, Lydia - it is the worst word in the world. Even worse than v.e.t. At least if I go there, I get a treat! x

    Her indoors used to have a 10 year old pic, Jacula (the one with the hat on) but she changed it for a more recent one - foolish woman! She says your picture should reflect how you feel and if you still feel like you did 27 years ago - then why not post a picture? :-) x

    Harvey is right! I hate grooming too, Joanne - as soon as she gets her box with all the scissors, combs and whatnots in I run for cover! x

    Thank you, Rosemary - a lady of good taste obviously :-) x

  15. Happy Birthday, Indy (I think that's your name?). And I truly sympathise about the diet. Herrrummph!!!x

  16. We don't have a dog, but we keep a special supply of doggy treats for our visitor dogs, so you're welcome here any time. And we always spoil our visitors.

  17. Thanks, Biddy, that's me - Indiana Bones, mystery dog of adventure x

    I'm on my way, Maggie - you clearly know how to treat a dog x

  18. Hello Indy, you look gorgeous to me. It's easy to have a bit too much to eat and not enough excercise over the winter months. I know all about that, and it's hard to go for plain biscuits when you love choccie ones. Stroking your lovely velvety head, and kisses for your birthday. It'll be easier when the weather gets warmer, trust me. Love youxxx

  19. Oops, yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, taking over my strange human's keyboard.
    Indy, my gorgeous doggy friend, pawesome photos of you and hey a belated happy barkday, sorry, birthday :)
    Pawsitive wishes and secret doggy treats, your way, Penny xx

  20. Thank you so much, Suzy! That is so kind of you, if only 'er indoors were as understanding x

    Thank you, lovely Penny - for the barkday wishes and the secret doggy treats :-)x

  21. Awwwww happy happy happy birthday!! You are too adorable and too gorgeous to be on a diet!! Boooo to diets and lycra!! Hope you get lots of special treats and extra cuddles! Enjoy your day! Take care

  22. Belated Happy Birthday to both of you. And I hope the wee one is feeling better.


  23. Thank you, Old Kitty - I agree, boo to diets x

    Thank you, Suz - he's fine now - I think he just wanted to be off school so he could console me ;-) x

  24. Diet? You and me alike, sunshine. Happy belated birthday. Woof from three Cypriot guys, and one 14 year old, smelly Cairn. The cat is too snooty to care!

  25. Hey My Little Indy - your number 1 fan here. You do look gorgeous.
    Course - on the other hand - horrid though the diet word is - why else would it have 'die' in it - I'm whispering this next bit as I know you'll be cross - Her Indoors could just be looking out for you, you know. And you don't want to lose those gorgeous looks and fabulous health do you?

  26. That's what she says, "It's for the good of yer elf!" And you are now looking at an Indy who is 200 grams lighter - oh yes :-) x