Sunday 6 September 2009


Picture the scene – romantic dinner for two, nice glass of Pinot Grigio clasped in my hot little hand and the conversation suddenly takes a sinister turn.

“You think that spider outside the bedroom was big – you didn’t see the one in our bedroom a couple of nights ago did you?”

“What spider?” Almost drops glass, but manages to cling on.

“It was on your side of the bed, just above the window. I’m amazed you didn’t see it.”

Wine starts to vibrate vigorously in glass. Tiny splashes land in my spinach and ricotta ravioli.

“Did you get rid of it?”

“Thought it best to leave it? More wine?”

Clutching at straws now. “Perhaps it was the same one that Indy caught. Perhaps it just looked smaller dead.”

“No it was much bigger and it was black. Tell you what it looked like – one of those that live in the funnel webs in the garage . . .”

Note here for anyone who hasn’t seen one of those tube web spiders – they are the vilest most menacing looking things and when you walk past, they sort of lunge at you! They do!

Maybe they are just ordinary house spiders, but I don't think so!

To me they look like Segestria Florentina. Believe me they sound a lot prettier than they look.

If they are what I think they are, they're big and they bite! They are the reason I will not go into our garage. I wouldn’t let Indy near one in case he got hurt!

Three o’clock this morning I was still wide awake reading my book and casting nervous glances around the room. Exotic tube web or ordinary old house spider - I no longer cared. I was convinced it was out to get me.

I wanted to open the window wider, but what if it was lurking in the folds of the curtains and fell on my head? I wanted to turn my pillow over, but what if it had come up the back of the bed and was sitting waiting to pounce?

“I don’t know what you’re worried about,” he said this morning as I dragged my weary self out of bed and examined the gigantic bags under my eyes. “How many times have you been attacked by a spider in your bed?”

Fair point dear husband, but tell me this. That bite you woke up with on your knee this morning . . . was it really a mozzie?


  1. Oooooh, Teresa! I saw a documentary about those spiders. I've never seen one but I can assure you there would be no 'understanding' between me and one of them if I did! It would be straight out with the rolled up newspaper! (sorry spider lovers). I've gone cold just thinking about them.

    Tomorrows the day, eh?! Just made Isobel's sarnies and put them in her new High School Musical sarnie bag.

    Julie xx

  2. Our two cats are fab at catching spiders - which is a great relief as I am not a fan of those eight legged monsters either. But now wonder if Muffin and Rolly are a bit confused as to what is prey and what isn't. Standing in our kitchen yesterday I was flabbergasted to see a lively, happy little mouse sitting in their bowl eating their food! At least the spiders are dead!!

  3. A horribly massive spider (I'm talking mutant huge) once ran over my neck when I was in bed. I can still feel it's horrible feet on my skin - and it was years ago. I still check the bed before I get in (shake the pillows, shuggle the quilt..).

  4. Teresa, I don't get the fear of spiders thing but this link may go some way to explaining it:

  5. Oh, a bit long. Quicker to google "women and spiders" methinks.

  6. I wouldn't have been able to sleep either Teresa!

  7. I'm too scared to hit them Julie in case I miss and they start fighting back! I've hoovered them up though.
    Good luck toiday!

    That's amazing Helen - the mouse eating their food! THey have their priorities right when it comes to spiders though!

    Ugh Suzanne - what a truly horrible experience you had. The closest I've come to that was having an itchy back in bed and sort of squirming round. Then I decided to investigate and there was a dismembered spider in the bed with me - legs everywhere! I always check my bed now too! And I shake my dressing gown before I put it on since one fell out of it years ago!

    Thanks Geri - that was really interesting! So there is some logic behind it! I'd never thought to look it up before.

    Thankfully I slept okay last night Lacey - I've convinced myself it's gone!

  8. I like spiders. They're so cute with their gangly legs and little beady eyes and nests of teeny weeny babies.

  9. Arrrrgggggghhhhhh! Patsy! Have now got goosebumps! Julie xx

  10. Miss A. Spider here. Look, I'm sick of all this bad press and hysteria. I'm not nasty or out to get anyone, and my plastic surgeon says there's nothing he can do about my looks. Why don't you all go and pick on the millipedes?

  11. We might if we knew what millipedes were.

  12. Ugh! I usually go out walking in a stout pair of sandals (if there is such a thing, I know what I mean), but lately it's been a bit damp, so out came the trainers.

    These have been in the cupboard since the spring, and there was a cobweb across one of them.

    Ever since I was a teenager, I have shaken boots and shoes when wearing them for the first time, since I put my wellies on to walk the dog, and a huge black hairy one crawled out of the top of the wellie as I was walking!

    I hate them!

  13. For the love of God, I would have hunted my husband down for a) not killing the flippin spider in the first place, b) for telling me he'd seen it and letting it go and c) for sleeping soundly whilst I sat rigid in bed with fear and knackered from loss of sleep as the terror of seeing it increased with every waking moment. I would also be in that garage with my Dyson Animal vacuum cleaner sucking these monsters up before they jumped on my head and try to eat me.

    Your husband is lucky to be alive!

  14. Cute Patsy? Cute??

    Give me a millipede any day - or a snake - a rat anything but a spider (or a stick insect or a daddy long legs)!

    I always shake out my wellies too Teresa! I'm squirming at the thought of one being in yours while you were wearing them!

    To be honest MOB, I think he's almost as scared of those big buggers as I am! I've decided (for my sanity) that it has probably left the building and is not lurking under my bed!
    You are not the first person to point out that he's lucky to be alive!

  15. Um, I've never been worried by spiders ever since someone told me they eat up all the house dust mites and cat fleas...not that my house is filthy you understand!
    We have a large spider comes from under the TV in the evenings. He scuttles across the rug only to disappear under the sofa. A few mins later I spot him out of the corner of my eye making his way back under the TV. He makes me smile. I often think he's Daddy going on a food hunting mission for his family. I've even been known to chastise the dog from attempting to roll on him and squish him. BUT now you've talked about funnel spiders lunging as you walk by, I'm worried he's a venomous beastie that will bite me given half the chance. Still can't bring myself to step on him though.

  16. I've had spiders do that, Sue! I usually end up standing on the sofa in hysterics. But they are the normal house spiders. I think they do it on purpose.
    Yours is probably very disappointed that you smile at him!!
    I wish I could like them, I really do.

  17. Shaking your boots is sensible - I wouldn't want to put my foot into a boot that was already occupied.

    I do have some irrational dislikes and I expect the people who avoid spiders would be braver than me in certain other situations.

  18. A colleague told us how he always picked large spiders up and showed them to his children, so they'd get used to them and not be scared. One day he opened up his cupped hands and there was nothing there. The spider was under his chin. So he killed it.

  19. I agree, Patsy. I think we all fear or dislike something. I knew a lady once who had a cat phobia!

    Ugh Kath - my neck feels all funny now!

  20. I don't think I'd ever go to sleep again.

  21. I didn't think I would either, Colette. Indy caught another last night - I'm sure it punched him on the nose!