Stylish!

Thank you Eileen over at Life’s Hard, Wine Helps for awarding me a Stylish Blogger Award. Almost forgot to do it, but life is getting back to normal so here goes with seven things about me with apologies if I’m repeating myself (I’m allowed to, I’m getting on a bit).

1. I have recently become allergic to codeine which is a pain (literally).

2. I am allergic to permanent hair dye.

3. I can swim a whole length of the pool holding my breath with my face in the water – what I cannot do is swim like a dolphin . There I was swimming up and down with Imogen sitting on my back and she said, “Come on, dolphin, leap out of the water.” Isn’t it wonderful when children are young enough to believe you can do anything?

4. I don’t like sentences that begin with “I”. A way around this I have to find.

5. My twin died in the womb and I have always felt as if a part of me is missing.

6. When I was a child coming home from school at lunchtime, I used to sometimes cadge a lift down the hill with the bread delivery man. It is very exciting riding in a van with neither seat nor door – well it is when you’re little and fearless. And I still remember the lovely smell in that van.

7. Which reminds me, at around the same time I had to be rescued by a lady at the top of that same hill from the attentions of an amorous golden retriever called Sandy (lovely, friendly dog, but on that occasion too friendly). She ushered me through her house and let me climb over her back fence so I could run home through the allotments.

That got me thinking, can you imagine those last two things happening these days?

And I’m going to be horribly lazy and instead of nominating fifteen blogs I am going to ask you to cast your gaze to the right (I think – I’m not good with left and right) and visit some of the very stylish blogs in my list if you haven’t already. And if your blog is there, consider yourself nominated! These seven "things" are a good prompt if you can't think of anything to blog about.

This morning as I walked down the lane (fields on the right, caravan park on the left) with the dogs, I suddenly realised I couldn’t see quite as much of Tilly as I should. She’d found a small hole at the base of the wire fence (well she’s spent the past ten years looking for one) and zipped through.

She went off rather purposefully and disappeared behind a caravan while I was leaping up and down in a panic – rather like a headless chicken really. Without the feathers.

She was heading in the direction of a caravan where a couple of bull terrier types had gone mad at her through the fence at the weekend. She’s a plucky little soul and stupid enough to think she can take anyone on and she’s got the memory of an elephant.

I was jumping up and down, calling her, panicking, wondering how the hell I could run to the park entrance and get there before she did, if she did – it was all going through my mind, roads, traffic, people, dogs – or if she went in another direction she’d end up on the marshes. All the camp exits are at least a ten minute run from where I was and I don’t do running.

Then I remembered my whistle and gave it a blast. Almost immediately she came trotting back to the hole in the fence. No sooner was she through it than she was running ahead down the lane looking for another. I put her on her lead then until we reached the fields where there are no fences for her to squeeze under, just dirty ditches to jump in.

She’s lost 200 gms so far on her diet and she seems to have a lot more energy. Whether it’s the food or the cooler weather or second childhood I don’t know.

Anyway I’ll be blinking glad when the other fields have been harvested and all those ear- and paw- invading grass seeds have gone so we can forget the lane and start going round the fields again.

My intention when I started blogging was to write about writing so I’ll make an effort to do that next time. If I can think of anything to write about. Writing Avoidance Techniques perhaps which is what I am indulging in right now.

Words of Wisdom

Reported this week – one in three of us is desperate to cut down the time we spend doing emails, Tweeting, Facebooking etc.

I can see why. There are always new and interesting things to ail us. With the dawn of computers came repetitive strain injuries from sitting at a keyboard or clutching a game pad. Now we have Facebook Fatigue, Blogger Burnout, Forum Fag, Email Exhaustion and Twitter Tiredness – that’s before you even start on the lure of interesting sites, the latest news at your fingertips and surveys.

My main activity on Facebook is playing Farmville. That’s the latest in a long line of games I’ve temporarily become addicted to. I’ve played everything on FB from knocking out bubbles to complicated word games. Now I put pretend trees in pretend orchards and every two days I harvest them. It’s an undemanding pastime and while I’m harvesting my orchards and watering my mystery seedlings or feeding love potions to my sheep, my mind takes a little break. It goes away all on its own and thinks about stuff.

And I don’t even have to go to FB to play it. I can cut out the middle man and go straight to Farmville. So do I need to cut down on Facebook? I don’t think so. I took a load of photos Tuesday and put them on FB, made them visible to the people who would be interested and that was it, done. And what’s more it’s easier and less time consuming than shrinking them to a sendable size and attaching them to emails.

So there you go, Facebook saves you time!

I sort of fell into Blogging. I follow so many I can’t keep up with them all, but when I look through the list and see if I could cull any – I can’t. I like all those I follow too much and don’t want to lose any of them and would like to follow more, but I sometimes miss posts and that annoys me somewhat because I just don’t have time to go back through them all and dammit I don’t like missing anything.

I’ve resisted Twitter. I’m not even going to go there. I think Twitter would be the straw that had me running down the street screaming that I can’t take any more.

Forums. I belong to a small number and find it hard to keep up with the posts on those, but I can’t let them go – I just can’t. They are, on the whole, such friendly places, somewhere you can go for a bit of a chillax.

And emails. I’d go mad without them and so, probably, would some of you. Not only do they keep you in touch, they make everything so much faster – and cheaper. Emails must save us a fortune in postage and brown envelopes.

Moving on to the business of writing. I had a sort out yesterday of all the folders, magazines, notes etc beside my desk. It had become such a huge tottering pile that I couldn’t use my printer without transferring it all. I transferred it to the chair behind me last time I had to print, forgetting that the dog that cannot see was damp and muddy – the result was a pile of soggy, grimy, falling apart pieces of paper and a very uncomfortable looking Tilly wondering what on earth had happened to her comfy chair.

She’s in there now sleeping peacefully, unmolested by piles of paperwork.

It led me to actually look at the projects I have on the go. There are five folders on the floor beside my desk – five projects there. Indy is taking care of those for the moment.

Then there are the notebooks scattered about the house. One with started greeting card verses in, one with Indy’s story, another with notes for something bigger. Yet another has writing websites written down that I must visit and one more on my desk with ideas for short stories. I haven’t even started on the folders on my computer with half started this and that. There is one into which I have transferred the stories I am going to one day – one day – publish on Kindle.

And there is of course the painting waiting to be finished, but that is unrelated to writing. At least I got the windows cleaned this week – very weak Yayyy.

So I haven’t done much. I would blame the dentist, but I have to say his lovely eyes went some way towards compensating for the pain.

The only person to blame is myself. I’m trying to do too much and in doing so I’m actually achieving very little. I used to make lists until the day I cracked, tore the list into tiny pieces and stamped my feet vowing never to make a bloody list again, so that’s not an option now.

Does anyone else feel overwhelmed by it all? I used to be overwhelmed by the mountain of ironing or the windows that needed cleaning or the grass that was as high as an elephant’s eye or the dust that settled the minute you finish dusting. Now all it takes to overwhelm me is the arrival of a writing magazine which I simply must read – just as soon as I’ve read last month’s.

Anyway, Words of Wisdom – I almost forgot. In fact I have forgotten. I’ve waffled on so long and talked so much self-indulgent twaddle I’ve forgotten what I was going to offer in the line of wise words. So let that be a lesson to you… I think.

I could easily and do easily become addicted to things. I can stop any time. I can turn this computer off and go and do something else. I can. You just watch me. I’m going now. See. I’m moving the mouse towards the sleep button or perhaps first I’ll check on my orchards, read a few blogs, reply to some emails and visit a forum or two and then I’ll switch it off and sort out some of those notebooks…..

How about you? Where are you off to now? Please, please tell me I’m not the only one to feel this way…

New Computer, New Router, Old Excuses

I’m sorry about the last post. Indy got on here when she wasn’t looking, but never fear, I am here now and using the keyboard despite my hairy paws and the fact I am visually challenged.

Unlike my brother, I am not one to moan. Take yesterday – there we were walking down the lane when I got a sharp pain in my paw. Did I make a fuss? Did I hell. I limped bravely on until she noticed and examined my paws.

I’d trodden on a twig with added thorns and one of the thorns had dug into my pad. I didn’t as much as flinch when she pulled it out. I’ve seen Indy with thorns in his paw and he stops dead and waves it about until someone sorts it out. She says I should do that, but you know me, I don’t like to make a fuss.

But there comes a time in every girl’s life when she has to make a stand.

Oh, the computer? Yes – she’s not keen. The screen is too long and thin, the new version of Word too scary and she says why has Explorer put everything round the wrong way – like her favourites on the right instead of the left.

Photoshop didn’t work – new computer said no - so she’s had to get a new version and she hasn’t even opened the box yet which is why there isn’t a picture of me to accompany this post.

And the new system doesn't support the Canon Easy Photo Print thing she uses. Amazing isn’t it how many things new systems don’t support.

How is it progress, she said, to make everything more complicated and upside down? And why doesn’t it end with buying a computer? Why do you have to buy all the extra programs to replace the programs you know, love and are used to?

As for the painting, she did the downstairs loo and half the hall then said her knees, back, neck, arms etc etc hurt too much to continue. Poor old soul. Maybe she’ll start a new trend in half painted rooms. Then she thought the gloss had given her a sore throat, but it turned into a full blown cold. As you know I’m not one to complain but she’s keeping me awake half the night with her coughing.

Anyway, someone said I looked as if I was putting on weight. Me! Well I’m not doing the running around that I used to that’s for sure. It’s hard when you can’t see where you’re going and a tad scary. I do have the occasional sprint when I get carried away, but I prefer to stay close to the rest of the pack now.

So she got out the scales and weighed me and according to her I’ve put on over a kilo. The scales are wrong I told her. My fur is heavy. I suggested removing my collar, but it was too late, the diet grub was ordered.

It’s only a kilo I said and she said on a dog of my small stature a kilo is a lot and that being overweight won’t help my aches and pains. Huh, you can talk fatty, I said, but she didn’t hear me. So I’ve got this high oat stuff from Burns and it’s really nice! But don’t tell her I said that.

The router? Well since it arrived she hasn’t been screaming about things going down so much, but just occasionally she’ll groan “Not again.”

And if she would but admit it, this new computer is so quiet she thought something was wrong with her mouse because she could hear every click. And it takes up a lot less space on her desk. And when she switches it on, it takes but a few seconds to be ready – the old one used to take several minutes and one of its fans had to be started with the aid of a screwdriver. She’s coming round to it anyway.

When she was checking to make sure all the stuff from the old computer had arrived on the new one, she found loads of started novels. She found a book she’d started to write about writing, a book about me and Indy, stories for children, romances and all kinds of everything. She had a quick peek, then quickly closed the folder with a shake of her head and an “I can’t look at all that now. It’s doin’ my head in.”

Well, as I told her, if she shed a few of her excess stones (which put my kilo and a bit in the shade – literally) she might lose some brain flab and be able to finish some of that stuff she’d started.

It's Not Over Yet!

Hello it’s me. Apparently she’s too busy to talk to you – get her – so she said I could have a go.

Well it’s been all topsy turvy in this household of late. I mean the tearing out of hair and gnashing of teeth that’s been going on, you’d think I was living in the midst of a biblical epic of mammoth proportions.

But the joy and jubilation when them “up there” phoned on Thursday and agreed there was a problem with the phone line. You’d have thought she’d won the lottery.

On Friday an engineer turned up on the doorstep. Tilly and I realised the gravity of the situation so refrained from barking at him and let him do his work.

He opened something up and declared there was a loose wire which came away in his hand. It wasn’t me, that’s all I’m saying. I don’t eat wires any more.

The engineer fixed the wiring, tightened everything else up and you should have heard the whooping and cheering when the internet started working at speed.

It was almost as loud as the weeping and wailing that went on this morning when the internet started going up and down like a wh… oh, apparently I’m not allowed to say that. Well it went up and down a lot.

So Himself got back on the phone and there was a lot of plugging in and unplugging and using different phones and sighing until eventually them “up there” said it sounded like a problem with the router.

I thought Himself was going to go off like a Roman candle. That was what he’d said to them when he first phoned them weeks ago. Anyway, they're now sending out a new router. Do you think that will fix the problems once and for all? Time will tell.

In other news, she went down to Focus for its closing down sale – you should have seen Himself’s face when she came out carrying ten gallons of paint. He went pale. I thought his beard was going to fall off.

But she’s clever. She said the magic words. “It’s magnolia.” Well, the face lit up, the beard settled down and he embraced the one-coat matt with open arms. If he had his way the whole house would be painted magnolia and judging by the amount she bought, that is her intention.

She also got a fancy little shelf bracket to hang the birds nuts on. I’m saying nothing!

Now her new computer is here, she’s leaving Himself to get on with setting it up and she’s going to get on with painting. Not sure what that entails, but last time she did painting I heard a lot of words I don’t often hear and ended up with white stripes.

She got her tin of white gloss, her paintbrush and her masking tape and she was all ready to go when someone said “preparation”. Well I don’t know if that sort of word is as bad as some of them she uses, but she went an unflattering shade of purple.

Last I saw of her she was stomping round with a sheet of rough paper and a bucket of warm water muttering something about moving into a ruddy tent (she didn’t say ruddy) where you didn’t have to do ruddy (again that isn’t the word she used) decorating.

Anyway, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and we’ve been running round with our legs crossed so she just said she’d do the “preparation” later when she’s “in the mood” and in the meantime she’d take us out. At least she has her priorities right.

Has The Light Come Back On?

This is my 200th post. It feels like some kind of milestone as if I should mark the occasion in some way – but I’m all out of ideas.

The ISP said they’d sort out the internet connection problem – or should I say lack of connection problem. Phone calls were made every few days and vague promises to look into it were made. Eventually they said it would be sorted out in 48 hours. It was like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

48 hours came and went and the problem was considerably worse – it was down more than it was up. Terribly sorry they said, but it will be sorted. They were monitoring the situation.

More phone calls, more apologies – but rest assured it has been passed to a higher level team to sort out. Was it possible to speak to these higher level people? Alas no, they are terribly busy and not answering their phones – they will ring you. It should be within 72 hours.

The goalposts were being moved it seemed. The light at the end of the tunnel had dimmed.

72 hours passed. No one called. The problem got worse. The connection would come up long enough to download emails – but perhaps not all of them if there was a backlog. Nothing more frustrating than seeing you have 4 emails downloading only for it to die before the fourth one comes down so you’re left wondering. It’s like knowing the postman has delivered a letter for you to next door by mistake, but they’re out and you don’t know when they’re coming back.

Apologies gushed forth – they’re so busy “up there” those mystical internet fixers; they’re not answering their phones.

Flash here to a room full of people wearing party hats and blowing those noisy unravelling things with feathers on the end. The music is deafening. There are sausage roll crumbs all over the desks and the bins are full of empty bottles. They’re cavorting about, playing and partying and they’re not fixing my internet.

More apologies and the news that it could be up to NINE DAYS before they get in touch. NINE DAYS? Sorry, I know that’s shouting but it’s been weeks, the goalposts are practically out of sight now and the light at the end of the tunnel went out some time ago.

They might be able to arrange a refund of part of the broadband fees in the meantime. Oh might they? How generous. Well that’s big of them isn’t it, offering to maybe not charge us for the service we aren’t getting.

In the grand scheme of things a dodgy internet connection is not of major importance, but it is bloody frustrating.

For instance, I was ordering three e-books. Simples. Yes and it took me two hours to complete the order with the connection coming and going. Well no, I wasn’t sat there waiting for two hours; I did a bit of writing while I waited – but annoying – yes it was.

I’ve left comments here and there – or thought I have, but the connection vanishes before the comment appears.

So here I am, 200th post, and having a rant. Sorry folks.

But… my new computer is ordered along with all the new-fangled gubbins to go with it which means I may be able to get on with stuff without having to restart my computer every so often because it’s gone into meltdown. In an ideal world, this time next week I’ll be using my new computer and I’ll have a broadband connection I can actually use when I want to use it.

I do want to say thanks to Jarmara for identifying the mystery plant from my last post. Salsify. Now I know. Several of us do. In cases like this the internet is wonderful.

I’d also like to direct you to Diane Fordham’s blog. I can’t comment unfortunately, Blogger says no, but if you want to see fiction restored to women’s magazines, Diane’s blog is a good place to start and she's already had some positive feedback.

And also in case you’ve missed them, check Lynne’s blog for the Yesterday posts by Josi – they are not to be missed. I promise you won't be disappointed.

I’m going to post this while I can and hope normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. Having said that, it has been running now for a few hours without cutting out. Is this a sign of things to come? Or is it a last gasp from the router before it blows up? Time will tell, but I am feeling quietly optimistic and the little light is staying on. Perhaps those people "up there" have fixed it after all.

Before I go I should just say that every cloud has a silver lining. Without the distraction of the internet I’ve been writing, seeking new horizons and for the first time in months I don’t owe anyone an email! So maybe I should stop moaning now and look on the bright side!

Any Idea?

What this is? It grows in abundance along the dykes down on the marshes.

And here is a picture (don’t say you weren’t warned) of not-so-little me wearing my prize T shirt and reading my prize book, Bound to Love by Sally Clements – thanks to the lovely Minxes.

Actually I’m not reading the book yet, but it is next in the queue in my To Be Read pile.

Not blogging much at the mo. Just wait till I get my new computer – you’ll never get me to shut up, but for now everything is such an effort.

I can’t even get on Julie P’s blog - sorry Julie. Computer says no apparently. Computer is a pain in the whatsit. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to post this!

Is It Worth It?

Problems with Blogger continue and I’ve tried doing all the recommended things like getting rid of cookies, logging in & logging out, unticking keep-signed-in boxes and restarting the computer to no avail.

Meanwhile I can comment on 2 or 3 blogs as me, a few as anonymous and not at all on others. What with my computer seizing up every 10 minutes or going so slow it would be quicker to write a message on a passing snail and send it - and the internet going down every 5, I could scream.

I have come worryingly close to banging my head on my desk in sheer frustration. So when I am without internet, do I get my head down and get some writing done – of course not, I keep clicking on websites and send/receive just in case I can bully it into working again.

I’ve used a few choice words lately about the internet, my computer and Blogger. I’ve considered ripping my computer from its wiring and hurling it out of the window.

So is it all worth it? Well I was looking back to a time BI – before internet and thought about it and I have to say it IS worth it.

First of all I have made so many friends via email, good friends, people I have come to care about more than I thought possible. I have met some of them in Real Life too, something I never dreamed possible twelve years ago.

I have learned that I am not the only writer to receive rejections – and yes, I really thought I was and that the other names I saw in magazines were selling everything they submitted.

BI I had only ever met one other writer, but he is my cousin-in-law and family so of course I’d met him.

And speaking of rellies, I have recently been reunited with a cousin I hadn’t seen for over 40 years – thanks to the internet.

For someone with an aversion to telephones, email is – well not a lifesaver because I’ve never felt like dying over making a telephone call, but it is wonderfully liberating.

And shopping. Being able to do it from the comfort of my own chair, not having to fight the crowds in shops as well as the panic that often accompanies me on shopping trips is wonderful.

Once I started thinking of the advantages, I stopped getting wound up about the problems. In a few months I will be able to get a new computer and perhaps then things will start working as they should and hopefully by then Blogger will have got its act together.

I haven’t been completely wasting my time while things have been going wrong. I went through my Favourites folder, got rid of some websites that are defunct and found a few treasures I’d forgotten about.

While I was sorting out, making new folders etc. I thought I’d share some of my favourites with you, my fellow Internetians.

So what do you think? Is it worth it?

Popular names over the past 130 years. Handy if you want to name characters from the past.

The Mystery Place - now accepting email submissions.

Common Errors in English - useful!

Meet the Author - see your favourite writers talking about their books.

Dr Hadwen Trust - if you're against animal experimentation.

Unusual and bizarre - take a look, it's fun!

Save me - group founded by Brian May - yes that Brian May.

Daily Puzzle - from the NYT. Mini workout for your brain.

Our Planet - loads of facts.