Thursday, 17 May 2012

Insecure!


I’ve spent ages recently searching for an outfit for my youngest son’s wedding next month and I’ve done exactly the same as I always do with a big event. I got the outfit and it was swiftly followed by a crisis of confidence.

Last year I bought some pink court shoes for the wedding and thought I had it licked. It’s always the shoes I’ve had problems with in the past. Doesn’t help that having broken my foot a few years ago, I have to choose my footwear very carefully.

Anyway, I had the shoes and I managed to get the perfect little pink bag to go with them. Should be a doddle to find an outfit to match. Wrong. I’ve bought different shoes now (white ones – well I am from Essex - although I was strangely drawn towards those “nude” shoes which are starting to grow on me), but I so wanted to wear the pink ones.

Anyone who knows me will know about my aversion to shopping, particularly clothes shopping. Well it’s not so much the shopping as Other People – too many of them and I’m running back to the car in a panic. Being able to shop online has been a life saver.

I take a lot of notice of reviews. I trawl through them and it amazes me how people can rate the same item so differently. One reviewer will say something is “perfect for weddings, lovely quality, hangs beautifully” and another, “Rubbish material, thin and cheap looking, sent it back”.

Does anyone remember, “The Gullibles – they’re always falling for scams”? (Punt and Dennis). Well that is a phrase that often flits through my mind. If someone says in a review that shoes are the smartest on the planet, I will believe them. Why? Because I don’t trust my own judgement, not an inch of it, but I will trust the opinion of a stranger and if they’ve said they’re all right, then they must be.

That’s another thing – what if someone else is wearing the same dress as me? Well that’s easily sorted because no one in their right mind would want to wear that dress to a wedding…. See my problem? I can argue with myself till I’m blue in the face – and often do.

At the end of the day the clothes don’t matter – no one is going to be looking at me with a beautiful bride, handsome groom and a whole host of gorgeous bridesmaids to gaze at. There. Sorted.

Thankfully I don’t lead such a confused existence when it comes to reading matter. I know what I like! I will read reviews, yes, but I base my purchases on past experience, recommendations from friends or from being grabbed by the first few pages.

At the moment I have been grabbed by the lovely Julian Clary. I got his Briefs Encountered for my birthday and couldn’t wait to get stuck in. I was delighted when I opened the front of the book to find a list of characters with brief descriptions. I love books that have character lists or maps in the front. Don’t ask me why. I just do.

Meanwhile in other news, the painting continues…

23 comments:

  1. My friend and I were talking about shopping for clothes this morning and said 'We always see clothes we like, but the clothes never like us.'

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  2. Oh I so understand your dilema Teresa. I think I got the outfit wrong for two of my children's weddings and finally got it right for the third. I have a style that suits me now (I think) and stick to it. I hate bold colours, buying shoes and I'm not too keen on summer clothes as they expose too much flesh. I'm sure you'll look lovely.

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  3. Oh, I hate clothes shopping, too, Teresa. Luckily I can spend most of the time wearing leggings and tops.
    Shoes are the bane of my life - I've got wide feet and bunions. Funnily enough my favourite shoes are bright pink - well, they're not really shoes but Crocs. They're so comfy.
    I'm sure you'll look lovely at the wedding whatever colour shoes you end up wearing.
    xxPat

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  4. How lovely to have your son's wedding come up. I'm sure you'll look lovely, Teresa - I'm hopeless at finding the right outfit and usually leave it until the last minute!

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  5. Oh, Teresa! I sympathise. You don't need to hear this, but I bought what I thought was a lovely floaty outfit for eldest son's wedding, and by the time the day came, I HATED it. I still hate it, 12 years on. Have you tried John Lewis? If you key in mother of the bride, they have lots of ideas ( bride/ bridegroom. Same sort of thing...). Good luck!

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  6. You've hit the nail squarely on the head there, Paula - plenty of stuff out there I love, but none of it would like me! x

    This is my third, Maggie - perhaps it'll be third time lucky. With the last two I didn't wear the outfit I'd originally bought x

    That is funny Pat cos I am sitting here wearing my pink crocs (great minds eh?)!! Most comfortable things I've ever had on my feet - and I'd rather be in trousers and a top any day :-) x

    It is very exciting, Rosemary :-) I thought I was well ahead of myself, but as usual I'm doing the last minute rush x

    I can't see you in a floaty dress somehow, Frances! Yes, I tried John Lewis. I don't think the problem is the clothes so much as me! Now if I were four inches taller and considerably lighter, there would be no problem at all x

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  7. Other People are such a nightmare! Changing rooms are always awful too, and I swear the mirrors in M and S make me look fat. I hope you find an outfit that will let you relax and enjoy the day.

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  8. I empathise, Teresa. I still look at the photographs of me at my son and daughter-in-law's wedding back in August, and wish I'd shopped around a bit more! But it was perfect day anyway, whatever I looked like! X

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  9. I hate clothes shopping too and sympathise entirely. But last year I thought I had seen the perfect dress for my daughter's wedding. And then she called it off! Let's hope that one day I get another chance.
    I remember my mother absolutely hating the floaty, ruffled outfit she bought for my brother's first wedding and trying to alter it for his second! (It was a remarriage to the same bride.) My father and I persuaded her to buy something new instead. She hated spending money on clothes she hardly ever got the chance to wear. However, he married for a third time in the end, so she got the chance to wear the second one again!

    Best of luck with the shopping and enjoy the day. x

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  10. I hate clothes shopping too! I also have a wedding coming up and really will have to wear something ...

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  11. And they have so many mirrors in them, Joanne, you can't even turn a blind eye to the bits you'd rather not see x

    That's the important thing, Mandy x

    I've steered clear of ruffles and floaty bits, Joanna :-) I hope when you need to that you'll find the perfect dress again :-) x

    You certainly will, Patsy and we will all be expecting to see photos :-) x

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  12. Hi Teresa, we have a wedding coming up. I've got a lovely red dress with pansies on, I've got some spangly shoes that I don't get chance to wear much, so those will be nice, and I need something nice to cover up the sleevelessness in church. I was telling a friend this today, and guess what? She came along later with several choices of jackets for me. Among them is a crochet cream lacy top that I think will be the one. Off to try them now. Aren't people lovely sometimes? I'm sure you'll look fab at yours. All I need to get now is a hat!!!

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  13. Hope all works out okay and your outfit really is just perfect for you. Thank goodness I don't worry about coordinating my clothes or my life for that matter. Which reminds me, I have a pair of "silly" flared trousers that I'm going to try to get into and suddenly realise I have a high-pitched voice! :)
    x

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  14. Hi Theresa

    I have a friend who comes clothes shopping with me, she's great and always finds stuff that I wouldn't normally try on but works. Do you have a department store you that has a personal shopper service - that way someone else can do all the running around looking for stuff while you have a cup of tea (or a glass of wine!).

    Good luck. Hope you find something that you're comfortable in and lets you enjoy the day.

    Linda

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  15. Sorry to butt in again Teresa, but the problem with wedding outfits is that we probably want to buy something that we can wear again, and we never do. I think that's where I went wrong with the first two weddings. However, my third and best outfit is still in the wardrobe - never worn again. My point made I think.

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  16. Sounds gorgeous, Suzy - and lovely about the top. I'm not having a hat. I didn't wear a hat at my older son's wedding and felt far more comfortable - I'm not a hat person :-) x

    Ooh be careful with those flares, Gary! x

    Thanks, Linda - I've often wondered about trying a personal shopper :-) x

    Great point, Maggie! x

    My outfit has paled into insignificance now - our bride is in plaster and has been at the hospital all day - what I wear is the least of my worries now!!

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  17. Oh Teresa - what happened? Is she/ will she be ok? What a worry x

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  18. She's broken a bone in her hand, Frances and the specialist said he'd never seen such bad swelling. Until that has gone down, they can't assess it properly, so she's back again next week to see if she'll need an op to put a pin in. At the moment she has a temporary plaster on from the tips of her fingers to her elbow! And she's still smiling bless her :-) x

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  19. Ah, for my youngest daughter's wedding, I went to the website of Coast, ordered an entire ensemble (not shoes) and was amazed when it all fitted perfectly. Job done! (Shoes from Faith I believe)Like you I am not a fan of shopping and crowds. As for Julian Clarey - I will have to read that book. My late brother knew him in the eighties and told me once that I should "Watch out for Julian because he will be famous one day". I tweeted this to Julian last year but sadly, he couldn't really say he remembered my brother.Good to know my brother was right though ;-)

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  20. Your brother clearly had an eye for talent, Deborah :-) How right he was!
    I didn't know Coast had a website - I'm off for a look, thank you :-) x

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  21. I so hear you on the shoe thing - my feet are a very odd shape and all footwear, unless they're flat and wide, are too painful to bother with.

    Whatever you wear, I know you're going to be a gorgeous mother-of-the-groom. And I hope you'll post photos.

    XX

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  22. I so hear you on the shoe thing - my feet are a very odd shape and all footwear, unless they're flat and wide, are too painful to bother with.

    Whatever you wear, I know you're going to be a gorgeous mother-of-the-groom. And I hope you'll post photos.

    XX

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  23. Thank you, Suz :-) I may post photos ;-) x

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