Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Two Year Olds as Intelligent as Dogs? I Think Not!

I can’t believe Herself has let me loose on her precious computer. I’ve seen the looks she gives Himself if he tries to “help” her with matters computerly. She hovers at his shoulder wringing her hands and muttering, “My work . . . my work . . .”

Like the other day she thought the computer had caught a virus (laughs into paw). They treat these machines as if they’re human don’t they? A virus! She’ll be saying it’s got appendicitis next. And God help him when he takes the thing apart and starts tinkering.

Now let’s be honest, if something is going to go wrong with the computer then the worst case scenario is going to be if she loses her Favourites. She orders my food, my medication (I have a deadly disease), my chewy treats, my Frontline (not that I have fleas or ticks or any other parasites I’ll have you know) and miscellaneous other miscellany online.

My name is Indy by the way and I've been gagging to get on here and have my say! Gagging! Oh no, sorry, that was the chewy bone stuck in my throat . . . I'll get to the point in a minute - give me time!

I had ticks once. I’d been rolling about in something dead and delightfully smelly and a few days later I grew a crop of fat grey ticks all over my face. She rushed me off to the vet and he laughed and said they’d drop off when they’re full!

Full of what, that’s what I’d like to know.

I found a dead seal to roll in once. It was there on the marshes rotting away for weeks and weeks. You could smell it half a mile away and I always managed to slip away from Herself in the split second before she managed to grab me. I had more baths over those few weeks than I’d had in my life and I can’t for the life of me think why.

I hate baths.

At least I don’t roll in poo like Oakley.

Now that would be gross.

I used to eat grapes. They were my absolute favourite thing ever in the world – until Herself went and read somewhere that they’re poisonous to dogs. I’ve told her chocolate is poisonous to humans but she doesn’t believe me.

I got stung on the face by a bee once. I had a head like a hairy football. The vet laughed at me that time as well and asked me what I’d done.

I’ve got a new vet now. Well lots of new vets – I’ve met three at the new practice and I especially like the lady vet who got in my hospital cage with me and gave me a cuddle after my big operation last year.


It was in one of the Sunday papers that dogs are as intelligent as two year old children. Well excuse me, but I have known a number of two year olds and do they come when they’re called? Do they hell – they run off in the opposite direction as fast as their little legs will carry them.

Now me, I always come when I’m called. Except if I’ve seen something to roll in or another dog I fancy saying hello to.

They forgot to put Springer Spaniels on the most intelligent list. At least they didn’t put us on the most stupid list I suppose. That would have been truly insulting. Bad enough to be compared to a two year old human! I don’t hold with all this stereotyping anyway.

I mean take my sister. She can open baby gates while I stand back and watch, but who is the clever one? She does all the hard work. She’s good at opening doors as well and again I let her do it.

You see what I’m saying?

I’ve seen her nick things off the table – food and stuff – she even gets ON the table sometimes if someone forgets to push their chair back under. I always get as far away as possible from her when she does that. I want to be sure no one ever thinks I’m involved and if I eat the stuff she knocks on the floor for me – well I’m only trying to be helpful and tidying up aren’t I?

The bread roll in the kitchen the other day was a misunderstanding. I thought it had been left on the worktop for me. An easy mistake to make. Anyway it wasn’t just calling to me, it was shouting at me.

Then there was a wasp on the window and instead of leaping up there and murderising it like I would if it were anything else insecty, I stood on the chair and alerted Herself with tiny woofs. The canine equivalent of throat clearing. She then spent half an hour with a rolled up magazine chasing the wasp around before she finally lost it under her desk – the wasp that is. The magazine was in shreds by then.

I know better than to try and catch anything with stripes. I’m not stupid!

Herself knocked herself out cold once chasing a wasp round. She was trying to kill it with a tea towel . . .

I’ll give you a moment to think about that one while we ponder on the intelligence of dogs compared to human beings.

I might have been stung once, but I’ve never knocked myself out.

There have been a lot of “onces” in my life, but at least I have learned from my experiences, unlike some people.

Well that’s it from me with thanks to Sally Quilford for giving Herself the idea to hand over her blog for a day. Happy Birthday, Sally! I'm off to bed for a well earned rest.


  1. Loved this! Made me laugh so much, thanks!And the photos are fab too!

  2. Aw, hello Indy. You are utterly adorable! And clearly very smart! Thank you for the birthday wishes!

  3. I LOVE that second picture, with the ears in the air. Fantastic.

  4. Indy's so cute - and love the term 'Herself' *chuckles*

  5. Indy

    I think we could have lots of fun chasing hedgehogs. Don't you?

    We're definitely more intelligent than adults. I mean, we don't even have to cook our own food, they serve it to us like waiters. Unpaid as well.

    Have a good snooze.

    Lots of licks.


  6. Thank you, Sue - I am rather fab aren't I?

    Yes, yes and adorable and smart, thank you Sally - keep the compliments coming - I can never have enough! Hope you're having a great birthday.

    Diane you wouldn't believe how long it took my stylist to get my ears right in that shot!

    Thank you, Jaye - I am cute aren't I - and very modest!

    Quite right, Fred! It's what hedgehogs are for! Humans are okay if they're probably trained. It's taken me years but I've got mine where I want them - Under the Paw!

    Love Indy

  7. Not so smart Indy - you can't spell properly properly! Tee hee!

  8. So that's what you look like, Indy. I've heard so much about you. My Springer loved eating purple pansies. No other colour would do. Can you explain that?
    My Cairn Terrier, Joop Zoetemelke, liked eating grapes.
    Perhaps Herself will let you have another go at a blog next year. Until then xxxxx

  9. Great post Indy! But what are you going to do when Herself reads it (she will, you know) and finds out who ate the bread roll from the kitchen worktop? I think you gave away a few too many secrets there, my dear dog!

  10. Ah, Indy - you have just made me laugh, and cry. You reminded me so much of my own Springer, Sophie, who went to the great doggy heaven three years ago at the age of 16. She was so much fun, so full of enjoyment of life - and looked just like you of course! Sophie could be very naughty when she was younger - which I'm sure never applied to you - but even when we told her off, she would smile and wag her tail at us. Intelligent? Well ... if you say so, Indy! If you say so!!

  11. Yes, Lynne - the purple ones taste like grapes! All the other colours taste like worm tablets! We springers know these things.

    Too late Womagwriter - she's read it and she says I'm getting ideas above my station!

    Sophie sounds lovely, Olivia - my kind of gal! I've never been naughty. I've always been a good boy. Never put a foot wrong. Good as gold me. You can probably see the glow from my halo if you look out of your window.

    Oh bugger! Herself is back . . . wait a minute woman! Just let me finish here . . . what do you mean my pants are on fire???

  12. Indy is gorgeous, and laughs for the camera! Indy rhymes with windy, so that's fitting for most dogs.

  13. He's always laughing, Antonia! But I'm not letting him near this blog again - you wouldn't believe how cocky he's been since he did it! (And very true about windy!!)

  14. Fabulous post - and terrific pictures.


  15. Hi Indy

    We were meant to be taking part in blog takeover day, but Mummy got sick and there was nobody to turn the computer on for us so we missed out. We've enjoyed reading about your day though.

  16. Hi Jasper, Cookie, Minty and Tabs,
    Sorry your mummy was sick. Hope she's feeling better now - mine's gone to bed and left the computer on - heh heh heh . . .
    I'm going to order myself some chewy shoes and chocolate bones off t'internet now . . .

  17. Indy, you are too cute! What a great post.

  18. Thank you, Ellie - I thought everyone had forgotten about me. I don't get on the computer much these days.