At eight o’clock the street
lights start to glow red and we’re closing the curtains and turning the lights
on.
Early in the morning when we
take Dusty out, the cars around here have that dewy coat so often seen on late
August and September mornings. For me this can only mean one thing.
The invasion begins.
You know the invasion I’m
talking about. The eight legged one.
Almost every morning I have
to call for someone to come and de-spiderify the bath. Usually it’s those
middle sized ones and sometimes a cellar spider. I don’t mind cellar spiders as
they tend to stay put – I have one called Samantha living in the corner right
next to my bed - but I wouldn’t want to pick one up.
The first of the big beasts
appeared the other evening while I was watching telly. I’m not sure if it was
the vibration from eight pounding feet I noticed first or the sight of it at
the periphery of my vision in the glow from the TV.
By the time the light had
been put on so we could see the enormity of it, it had gone under the telly
stand. I swear it had to duck to get under there and probably had to lift the
stand slightly with one of its mighty legs as it looked over one of its
shoulders and barked out an evil laugh.
I watched the rest of
Casualty with one eye on the floor, but the spider never reappeared. It’s still
in there somewhere. Lurking. Usually we (I use the word “we” loosely – I only
do it with medium to small ones) put a pint glass over the spider, slide a
piece of thin card under and take it to the garden. I think a pint glass would
have been too small – might have risked catching a leg or three and so it would
have called for a small Pyrex bowl. But it’s still about, probably growing by
the day. I daresay it will announce its presence one day by moving a sofa out
of its way.
The next morning I went for
my shower. I shook my dressing gown – I’ve been caught out like that before –
and checked the bath and floor. It was only after I’d had my shower that I saw
the large rusty coloured heap on the floor between me and the door. “It’s a
leaf,” I thought as I peered closer (no glasses). It wasn’t a leaf. I managed
to leap over it, grab my dressing gown and run for help.
There has been speculation
that it was in the towel I dried myself with. Another theory is that it was in
the towel I throw on the floor to stand on. It wriggled in the cupped hands of my rescuer as it was removed outside. And he
said it was even bigger than the one in the front room.
A spider will eat about 2000
bugs a year I’m told. They’re more scared of us than we are of them they say. They
are our friends. I have no beef with the spider and I don’t mind them sharing
my home as long as they stay away from me. That’s not to say I’m not going to
refresh my supply of conkers around the place.
I thought it was the conkers
that were keeping them away, but with hindsight it was probably Harley and
Dusty, mighty hunters as was. They’re not interested now. A spider could walk
over Dusty’s paw and he’d just watch it.
This morning I walked in here
in bare feet to switch the computer on – I always have bare feet at home – and I
stood on something that felt like a spider and it stuck to my foot. You
probably heard me screaming. Yes I know it would have been worse for the spider
if I’d trodden on it, but logic has no place where phobias are concerned.
Dusty is always bringing
things in from the garden, mostly stones and small twigs. It was a small twig I
had stuck to my foot. Just a small twig.
And don’t even get me started
on Crane Flies which, as far as my phobia is concerned, are flying spiders.
I'm scared of mozzies because of the reaction I have to their bites, but it isn't anything like my all consuming fear of spiders.
Anyone else out there dread this time of year - and the arrival of the big spiders?