Road - Hah!

I’ve been off on adventures this week. Unintentionally. It was Billy Connolly’s fault. His is the current voice of the Sat Nav.

Now I know the man is a comedian, but did he really have to lead us down a road – hah! Road? I’ve seen public footpaths more roadworthy - a road that led nowhere?

Instinct told us it would be daft to go down there. The sat nav told us it would take us to our destination.

It was narrow. It was muddy. It was full of holes. There weren’t any passing places so if we’d met something coming the other way we’d have been stuffed.

As we bumped along, I wished we had one of those 4x4 things suited to driving through fields or even a tractor. There was an ominous twangggg from the bottom of the car. It kept going though.

Eventually we reached a crossroads with footpaths going off in the other three directions and a sign saying “Road ahead unsuitable for motor vehicles.” You don’t say?!

Luckily the road (and I use the term loosely) widened slightly and there was a small pond in the middle, or perhaps it was a large puddle, but whatever the body of water was, my beloved turned the car round in it and we didn’t sink without trace.

I was in the back of the car with a very car sick little girl! Poor little thing. It was no wonder the way we were bouncing along.

After a while back on a proper road with tarmac and road markings and everything, we were told to turn down yet another dodgy looking road. But there were houses and cars and it all looked fine until it told us to turn left.

Where the left turn should have been was a sign “Road Closed” and yet another so-called road which looked more like a track across a field.

Thanks to the sat nav, it took us an hour to drive 12 miles. And when it said we had reached our destination, we were halfway up a hill on a dual carriageway in the middle of town with high concrete walls on both sides.

Yeah, thanks a lot, Billy!

The sat nav has got us out of a lot of tricky situations over the years, but yesterday we learned that you can’t trust it 100% and it’s always handy to have a map book in the car!

So there’s another writing tip for you. Even if you know where you’re going, you still have to be able to get there without coming to a dead end halfway through! So if your instinct tells you something is wrong, it might be a good idea to listen to it.