Saturday, 23 October 2010

I've seen more meat on a cornflake!

I went shopping with Imogen this week. Despite being only 3 she’s got the whole idea of girl shopping. Nothing against men (they are very useful for carrying bags), but very few of them understand the concept of “shopping”. I’m not talking about the weekly shop here, but the traipsing from one shop to another looking for a certain something. A not quite sure what it is, but I’ll know it when I see it kind of shopping.

In all honesty I don’t get it either. I vividly remember the first time I had a panic attack going into a shop – I was 12, Christmas shopping. I didn’t have the screaming heebie-jeebies or anything like that; I just froze in the doorway of the shop, looked in at all the people and couldn’t move a muscle. The noise of the people did that pulsing thing and I broke out into a sweat.

It got worse before it got better and it still jumps up and bites me every now and again.

These days if I go into a shop and start to feel like that, I turn around and walk out again.

We had a break in Costa Coffee and managed to get the soft seats much to Imogen’s delight. She ate her pink cake and I drank my cappuccino.

We had fun. I only needed to buy a couple of things and I only left one shop because it was too crowded.

I also nipped into Staples and bought a box of 250 A4 envelopes. When my beloved went to put them away in my cupboard for me he asked “What is that box?” What box? Oh that big green one identical to the one I’ve just bought? Hm, I wonder.

It was right there at the front beside my dwindling supply of A4 envelopes. It was, as you may already have guessed, another box of A4 envelopes. A full box.

It gets worse. Behind said box of envelopes was another ancient box of envelopes. 250 foolscap envelopes. A couple of weeks ago I bought two new packs of foolscap envelopes. Why? I have no idea. I rarely use them.

Anyway back to the shopping. The whole reason I started this post was to tell you about the plates. Big silver and gold plates. One of those would be grand to use for my Christmas cake since I haven’t found a cake board yet.

Force of habit, turned it over to check what it said on the bottom and “Not suitable for direct contact with food.”

My beloved suggested a doily . . . but what would be the point in buying a fancy plate if you cover it up with a doily? Can you even buy doilies any more?

But a plate you can’t put food on? Yes I know it could be used for decorative purposes – but they weren’t decorative enough to be solely decorative if you see what I mean.

Reminds me of the time my beloved bought himself a pair of (very expensive) platform boots back in the 70s. He wore them once and the platforms and shoes parted company. When he returned them to the shop to ask for his money back the woman was appalled – “You didn’t actually wear them did you?” she said.

Well yes, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do with boots? “Oh no, these are fashion accessories.”

I’ll leave it to you to imagine what his answer to that was. He got his money back.

Oh the cornflakes? It was a line from a dream I had, the content of which would be unsuitable for my usual market!


  1. And there was me thinking this was going to be a very weird recipe for one of those crispy chocolatey cake thingies.

  2. LOL well now you have enough foolscap envelopes for life ;)

  3. I can never get the soft seats in Costa!

    I bought some of the gold plates that can't have food on them, not noticing the sticker on the bottom until I got them home. I get them out every Christmas and they sit in a corner in a forlorn stack until I put them away, unused, in January. It's almost one of the Christmas rituals now.

  4. I'm not a natural born shopper either, Teresa. I too suffer from that freeze-in-the-shop-doorway thing you mentioned. Can't stand crowded places! I have to know exactly what I'm shopping for and where I can find it before I venture out shopping. If I haven't found it within about 15 minutes I have to stop and get out!

    My daughter, however, loves to shop. Don't know where she got it from as neither me or her dad like shopping!

    Julie xx

  5. Oooh, the dream sounds intriguing.

    I loathe crowds, so either do my shopping first thing in the morning, before the crowds arrive(one of the many good things about being self-employed), or else online.

    Sounds like you had fun shopping with Imogen, though.


  6. Glad you had a good day, shopping can be so stressful. I foolishly went to Tesco this afternoon thinking it may be quiet on a Sunday afternoon. Nope! The girl at the checkout said it was always really busy.
    I'm very curious about the cornflake dream!

  7. I too am curious about the cornflake story. Maybe you could turn it into a cereal.

  8. Re shopping, me daughter and I do what we call "wafting"; ie drifting from shop to shop with no particular purpose, wasting time and occasionally money (and not getting on with the WIP). This is a separate - not a joint - activity (we do better if we're together). It serves no purpse at all (I'm usually on the way back from hair/dentist appointmnet), but is vindicated if we come home with something - anything, so long as it's new - in a paper bag, or better, a large carrier bag. I think it's a disease.

  9. We used to make them at school, Patsy – a sticky and long drawn out business using golden syrup, butter and cocoa. Now I just melt some cooking chocolate and stir the cornflakes – or rice krispies in.

    I think you are right, Lacey. I’ll probably end up leaving them to someone in my will!

    I’ve only got those seats once, Joanna!

    Horrible isn’t it, Julie. I always feel I’m missing something when people talk about the joys of shopping.

    Me too, Suzanne – thank goodness for online shopping! It is reassuring to know I’m not the only one.

    It makes you wonder doesn’t it, penandpaints – if we didn’t have Sunday opening or 24 hour stores just how busy the shops would be the rest of the week. Sundays almost seem to be the new Saturday!

    A cereal, Keith! There’s an idea.

    I can tell you the dream involved a bad tempered naked bus driver!

    I think the wafting sounds nice, Frances. I did a bit of that yesterday - no pressure of looking for something in particular, just a gentle wander round uncrowded shops - I was with a good friend which helps!

  10. I frequently do that thing where I go shopping and come back with a second or third of something I already have. And a sinking feeling when I realise I haven't actually bought the thing I did need. Sigh.

  11. My grocery cupboards are full of duplications (why do we have 3 jars of peanut butter and no toilet roll?). My only attempt at efficiency is to list make but then I duplicate the items on the list!!
    I love shopping but only if I'm not pressured by time or the need to buy something ie: a birthday present by the next day etc. Clothes shopping for no reason at all is the ultimate luxury - I even enjoy the smell of the carrier bags! x

  12. So reassuring to know I'm not the only one, Helen.

    I don't think I'll ever love shopping, Lydia. I'd never noticed the smell of the carrier bags. Maybe if I indulged in a bit of carrier bag sniffing it would help :-)